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求中英文笑话各两条,质量高者追加30分

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Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .

Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down .the mouse said .I will tell a flea what I know.

为我所用

一头大象对一只小老鼠说:“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍,让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

2.Do You Know My Work?

One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.”

“You don't know my work,” said the other.

“What is your work?”

“I'm a policeman.

“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.

“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”

译文:(自己简单翻译)

你知道我是干什么的吗?

一天晚上,一家旅馆失火,住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。

两个人站在外面,看着大火。

“在我出来之前,”其中一个说:“我跑进一些房间,找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里,火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”

“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。

“你是干什么的?”

“我是警察。”

“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动,说:“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。

“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

3成绩

期中考之后,数学老师要发表成绩,他说:

九十分以上和八十分以上的人数一样多;八十分以上和七十分以上的人数也一样多

话一说玩,全班一阵欢呼,一位同学追问道:那麽....不及格的人数呢???

老师不疾不徐的回答:不及格的人数和全班的人数一样多

4贩卖机趣闻

期末考到了,晚上总是熬夜比较晚睡,肚子饿了,当然吃泡面最方便了....

宿舍有台泡面贩卖机,正考虑说肉羹面和麻油鸡面那个比较好吃,

想想,乾脆两个一起按,看掉下那一个好了!!!结果,拿出的是-------

---------黑胡椒牛肉面

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