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国外幽默笑话
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国外幽默笑话
国外四则幽默笑话
1、接到一业务电话，新加坡来的。对方开始讲英语，后来变成汉语，原来人家汉语讲得不错。最后挂电话的时候问我贵姓，要给我发传真。俺告诉他：“别客气，我姓陈，尔东陈。”
过了一会儿，秘书说有一份传真不知道给谁的，俺过去看了一眼，差点晕倒。传真上赫然写着：
Attn：Miss Chen Er dong
Subject：……
2、邻居：汽车出毛病了？
汤米：是啊，我买了一个省油百分之三十的阀门，一个省油百分之四十的汽化器，和一组省油百分之五十的火花塞。
邻居：结果怎么样？
汤米：车子开出去二十公里后，油箱里的油多得溢出来了！
3、一对新婚夫妇正要下火车，新娘对新郎说：“亲爱的，我们做出结婚很久的样子给别人看看！ ”
新郎说：“好的，你提着衣箱，走在我的后头！ ”
4、多年以后，汤姆成子海军陆战队的一名出色的少校，他的.家庭也充满了浓厚的军事色彩。有一天，朋友到他家去聚餐。只见威望门口写着“给养供应处”，客厅门口写着“情报交流站”。儿子的卧室门中写着“男兵宿舍”，女儿的卧室门口着“女兵宿舍”。朋友想象汤姆夫妇的卧室一定挂着“司令部”的牌子，谁知上面写着：“新兵培养中心”。
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国外经典幽默故事三则
笑话是一种增强快乐的 文化 ，常常以篇幅短小， 故事 情节简单，文笔巧妙的形式出现，给人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面我为大家带来国外经典幽默故事三则，希望大家喜欢!
国外经典幽默故事：美国男人撒谎
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in Canada.
在美国80%的已婚男人撒谎，其余的20%在加拿大撒谎。
国外经典幽默故事： 面试
There was this man who was in a horrible accident，and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this unusual' handicap, he was very selfconscious about his having no ears.
有个人在一次意外中受了伤，他的两只耳朵也被切除了，这也是惟一一处这次意外造成的永久性伤害。由于这种特殊的残疾，他对自己没有耳朵这件事非常地敏感。
Because of the accident，he received alarge sum of money from the insurance company. lt was always his dream to own hisown business，so he decided with all this money he had，he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small，but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all，so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business.
因为这次意外事故，他从 保险 公司那里得到了一大笔钱。他总想拥有自己的公司，这下他决定用自己所有的钱开一家自己的公司。于是他买了一家很有前途的小型电脑公司。可是他意识到他根本没有做生意的学问，所以他决定雇一个人帮他管理生意。
He picked out three top candidates，and interviewed each of them.
他挑出三个候选人之后对他们每个人分别进行了面试。
The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was Do you notice anything unusual about me?
第一个面试进行得很顺利。他也很喜欢那个人。他给面试者提出的最后一个问题是:“你有没有注意到我有什么特别的地方。”
The guy said，Now that you mention it，you have no ears.”The man got really upset and threw the guy out.
那个人说:“既然你问到了，你没有耳朵。”他听到这个之后很伤心，然后把那个
面试者赶了出去。
The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again，to conclude the interview，the man asked the same question again，Do you notice anything unusual about me? The guy also noticed，`’Yes, you have no ears.”The man was really upset again，and threw this second candidate out.
第二个面试比第一个进行得还要顺利。这个候选者要比第一个更优秀。他又一次以同样的问题来结束面试:“你有没有注意到我有什么特别的地方?”那个面试者也注意到后说:“是的，你没有耳朵。”他又一次的非常伤心，又把第二个面试者赶了出去。
Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second，the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy，the man once again asked，Do you notice anything unusual about me? The guy replied，Yeah, you are wearing contact lenses.” Surprised，the man then asked, “Wow! That’s quite perceptive of you! How could you tell? 'The guy answered，Easy. You can’t wear eyeglasses. You don’t have any ears!”
这之后又进行了第三次面试。第三个面试者是三个人中最好的一个。当然，他也很想录用这个人。他又一次的问起那个问题:“你有没有注意到我有什么特别的地方?”那个人回答:“是的，你带着隐形眼镜。”他惊奇的问:“哦!你真是太厉害了，你是怎么知道的?”那个人回答:“太简单了，你不能带普通的眼镜，因为你根本没有耳朵!”
国外经典幽默故事：一只袜子
A young couple decided to wed. As the big clay approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
一对年轻男女决定举行婚礼当那个大喜的日子临近的时候，他们变得有些忧虑。他们的问题从来没有告诉过别人，甚至是对方。
The groom-to-he, overcoming hisfear, decided to ask his father for advice.
新郎抑制着他的恐惧，决定向他的爸爸征求一下意见。
Father,” he said，1 am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
“爸爸.”他说，“我真的对我能否有个美满的婚姻有些担心。”
His father replied，Don’t you love this girl?
他的爸爸问他:“你爱这个女孩吗?”
Oh yes，very much，” he said，but you see，I have very smelly feet，and I’m afraid that my fiancee will be put off by them.”
“当然，我非常爱她，”他说，“但是你是知道的，我的脚很臭我怕我的未婚妻会因为这个而离开我。”
No problem，”said dad. gall you have to do is wash your feel as often as possible. and always wear socks，even to bed.” Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
“没问题，”他爸爸说，“你需要做的就是尽可能的经常洗脚，总要穿着袜子，即使是睡觉的时候。”对于他来说这似乎是个有用的办法。
The bride-to-be，overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem u p wish her mom. “Mom，” she said，when 1 wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
新娘抑制着她的恐惧，决定向她的妈妈征求一下意见。“妈，”她说，“当我每天早上起来的时候，我嘴里的味道实在是太糟了。”
“Honey，” her mother consoled，everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“亲爱的，”她妈妈安慰她说，“每个人早起的时候嘴里都有味道的。”
No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I' m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”
“不是，你不明白。我早上的口气实在是太难闻了我怕我的未婚夫会因为这个不和我睡在同一间房里。”
Her mother said simply, Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed，and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”
她的妈妈简单地说道:“试试这个办法吧。早上，起床后直接就到厨房去做些早饭。当他吃早饭的时候你就去洗手间刷牙。关键就是在你刷牙之前一个字都不能说。”
I shouldn’t say good morning or anything`? the daughter asked.
“我连早上好之类的话都不能说吗?”女儿问道。
Not a word，”her mother affirmed.
“一个字也不成，”她妈妈强调到。
Well，it' s certainly worth a try,”she thought.
她想:“这个办法倒是值得一试。”
The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received，he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence，they managed quite well. “That is，until about ix months later. Shortly before dawn，the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed, This, of course， wakes his bride and without thinking, she immediately asks, What on earth are you doing?
这对恩爱的一对终于结婚了。彼此都没有忘记父母提过的建议。他一直穿着袜子，每天早上她也一直没有说过一个字。他们做的都很好。话说大概过了半年后的一天，天刚朦朦亮，丈夫一醒来就发现有一只袜子在睡觉时掉了。害怕由此带来的后果，他就疯狂的在床上寻找。当然，这也把妻子吵醒了，妻子想都没想开口就说:“你到底在干什么?”
Oh, my God，” he replies, you’ve swallowed my sock!”
“噢，我的天哪!”他说，“你吃了我的袜子!”
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