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英文的幽默笑话?
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英文的幽默笑话?
The teacher put a bug into alcohol, the bug died. The teacher asked ,what does this show? A student answered,It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol. 把虫子放入酒中，虫子死了。老师问：“这说明了什么？” 学生答：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。”
A tourist asks a man in uniform:Are you a policeman? Man:No, I am an undercover detective.Tourist:So why are you in uniform? Man: Today is my day off.
游客问一个穿制服的男人，“你是警察吗？” “不是，我是一名便衣侦探。” “为什么穿制服？”“今天我休息。”
Teacher：Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity？ Student：You don’ t have to pay for lightning. 老师：谁能告诉我闪电与电的区别？ 学生：闪电不用付钱。赞同0| 评论
王子：Can you speak Chinese?
公主：Yes, I can.
接下去全是中文
一次上课，一英文老师在黑板上写了一个单词：Know，然后，叫一位学生来回答，该学生说：No，老师说：答对了！
楼上的老师太搞笑了
关于超级搞笑的英文笑话？
笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。在俄罗斯文化中,笑话一直都具有无法替代的特殊意义。我分享，希望可以帮助大家!
：DOWN A DEEP HOLE
Two guys are walking down a road when they e across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can't see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen... Nothing. One of them says, Man, that's a deep hole!
Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently... They hear a sound, but it is ing from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!
The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, Boy that was close! We'd better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!.
So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened.
Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?, one of the men asked.
The farmer replies, Yeah, why do you ask?
The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.
The farmer said, Well boys, I don't think that was my goat. You see, my goat is really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I have him tied to a big, old cinder block.
：Purpose of the Dog
A Sunday School helper was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.
They use him to keep crowds back, said one youngster.
No, said another, he's just for good luck.
A third child brought the argument to a close. They use the dogs, she said firmly, to find the fire hydrant.
：I Cant Let Him Get Away
A male crab***螃蟹*** met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new hu *** and waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. What happened? she asked. You used to walk straight before we were married.
Oh, honey, he replied, I can't drink that much every day.
不能让他跑了
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是横著走。哇!她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。
第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横著走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直著走路的。”
“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
：A preacher is buying a parrot
Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.
Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.
Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.
Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?
I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.
一个传教士在买鹦鹉
“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。
“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”
“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢?”
“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
：Dead Kitty
Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to relieve himself late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead! Bad dog! BAD DOG!, said the panicked man.
He took the cat away and looked at it. He couldn't bring himself to tell his neighbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbour's porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt.
It took him forever. He had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed it's beautiful white fur as he blow dried it, and put it's collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor's yard, and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door.
The next day, he was on his way to the car to go to work and his neighbor was outside.
Hi, he said. Hi, replied Jim, nervously. His neighbor said, something weirdhappened last night.
Oh yeah? What's that, asked Jim, sweating now.
Well, my cat died yesterday, and we buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!
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