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The Speeding Ticket
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.
Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: Oh, it's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: You have a gun in there?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the lady who owns the car. She's in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the trunk?!?
The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off carefully, and calls for backup. Quickly, the car is surrounded by police, and the captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure, Officer.
Captain: Hmm, this license is just fine. Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open the glove compartment, please, so I can see if there's a gun in there?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
He opens it, and sure enough, there's no gun.
Captain: Would you mind if we opened the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.
Driver: No problem.
The trunk is opened, nothing in there but a spare tire.
Captain: The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too!
Best Way
Mary loved Tom, but she worried about all the money he squandered when they went out together. How can I stop Tom from spending so much money on me?She asked her mother.
Marry him!
Dating for Mother
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he.
One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, Are you single?
Why, yes, Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
So is my mom, she said. Would you like to meet her?
A New Drug 一种新药
Jack:I have invented a new drug which could kill lice effectively.
Tom:That's wonderful. How is it used?
Jack:When you catch a louse, just put a little of that drug on its mouth and it will die immediately.
英语笑话
1
a
little
boy
asked
his
father:
daddy,
how
much
does
it
cost
to
get
married?the
father
replied:
i
don
't
know
son.
i
'm
still
paying!!一个小男孩问他的爸爸，结婚要花多少钱？爸爸说：我不知道，因为我仍然在付帐。
考官问考生:“如果你在美国目睹了一场交通事故，警察向你询问情况，你应该怎么说?”考生不慌不忙地说：“One car come to one car go ,two car peng peng(砰砰) ,one car die .”
从前有一个人长得像柠檬，他被酸死了。
从前有一个人长得像电话，他被打死了。
这里面有很多 英语 中文 双语笑话
去看看吧
很赞哦！ ()