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给一个笑话，用英语说
admin2024-06-17人已围观
给一个笑话，用英语说
Today i was looking at my old photo album, and i picked up a very familiar picture. This picture of mine reminded me of when i first came to America.
When i arrived first in this beautiful country, i spoke no English! i didn't even know how to say yes, or no . Now, i would think that all of us had to get through the same stage of life, whether a baby just learning its first language, or a student taking a class in college. Back to the story, when i first came, i had to go to school. i didn't know how to speak English.
However, i had a personal translator, my classmate Jim. Jim was from Shanghai, China, and had come to the U.S. about a year earlier than me. But he didn't do his job the right way. He took me to the wrong places, didn't do as i asked, did not help, nor make an effort to help in any way. He was just a little prankster.
Anyway, during second grade, a couple of months after i first arrived, we changed teachers. The new teacher asked me to come up to her desk.
Yang, come here, she said.
I walked up to her desk, with little Jim coming along.
Jim, i asked Yang to come. I didn't say Jim, so please have a seat.
Oh, but you see, i'm her translator, he told her.
Yang, do you think that you are able to communicate without Jim here? she asked me.
The next few moments of my life, i will never forget. i spoke my first word , and very loudly.
YES! i shouted.
Now, since Yang can talk in English, we won't need you. Now, will you please have a seat? she said.
一个简单的英语笑话
Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's. What's the matter with you,asked the doctor. I have been broken all!,said the fool . Broken all,what's it mean?,the doctor was surprised. Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:Ouch!There is something wrong with my head.after that,he pointed to his back and said :ouch,my back hurt.then,he touch his nose and said:ouch,my nose hurt…… The doctor thought a while and said :you have a bad finger 从前，有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着，那傻瓜用手指着头说：“很痛，我的头伤了。”接着，有指着背，鼻子，说它们都伤了。 那医生想了一会儿，说：“你的手指伤了。” A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: God, what is a million dollars to you? and God says: A penny, then the man says: God, what is a million years to you? and God says: a second, then the man says: God, can I have a penny? and God says In a second 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?上帝回答:一便士.男子又问:那一百万年呢?上帝说:一秒钟.最后男子请求道:上帝,我能得到一便士吗?上帝回答:过一秒钟. Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, Congratulations, you got twins. The man said How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins. After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, Congratulations, you got triplets. Man was like Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the 3 musketeers. Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says Congratulations, you got twins x2. Man is happy and says, Ironic, I work for the hotel 4 Seasons. All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, What's wrong? I work for 7up! 四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:恭喜,你得了双胞胎.男人说:多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理.过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:恭喜,你得了三胞胎.男人很喜欢:嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事.最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎.男人很开心地说:真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作.他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀! 呵呵,一个比一个效率高. Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together. The Canadian said, I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile. The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said Genie, tell me more about this wall, the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out. President Bush said,” Wo础海壁剿撰济辩汐菠搂w! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!! 拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个.加拿大人说:我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃.精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情.精灵回答:墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去.布什总统说:哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!! My Baby Swallowed a Bullet Young Mother: Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ? Doctor: Don't point him at anybody. 年轻的妈妈说：“医生，我孩子吞下一颗子弹，我该怎么办？” 医生说：“不要让他指着任何人。” Notes 1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹 2. to point at: 对...瞄准 allybaby Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:First, you should make sure that he is already dead. Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:What should I do next? 两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
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