有没有经典的英语笑话，带翻译的

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you has screwed up my life

我的心肝，我的挚爱，我美丽的贤妻，

我这辈子就毁在你手里。

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

你的容颜依稀入梦境，

于是我在尖叫中惊醒。

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

善良、聪慧、多情而性感，

可惜这些你一条都不占。

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

爱是上天赐福，爱情多么美好，

可我与你同眠只是因为喝高。

5. I thought that I could love no other

-- that is until I met your brother.

曾以为一生只爱你一个

直到遇见你的二表哥。

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with

the money I gave you yesterday?

I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered.

You're a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents

more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?

She is the one who sells the candy.

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老

太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.

Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.

医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。

病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。

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