德国人评选出的世界十大笑话，戳中你的笑点了么
Jokes: 笑话
Classic jokes: 经典笑话
笑话的种类有哪些？
Clean jokes: “干净的”文明的笑话
Dirty jokes: 黄色笑话
很多笑话的逻辑都是：
Pun: 一语双关
Play on words: 文字游戏
冷笑话和cold没关系：
Bad jokes: 不好的、无趣的笑话
A joke falls flat: 很冷，很平的笑话
笑话好不好，关键看：
Punch line: 笑点
经典笑话大串联
你能不能get到笑点？
#1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
鸡为什么要过马路？
A: To get to the other side.
因为要去另一边。
笑点：出乎意料的没有点就是它的笑点吧。好冷。
#2. Why is the doctor so angry?
为什么医生那么生气？
A: Because he has no patience.
因为他没有耐心呀。
笑点：耐心=patience，病人=patient 一语双关
#3. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
鳄鱼穿了背心会变成什么？
A: An Investigator.
调查员
笑点：这个点在读音，investigator = in vest + alligator
#4. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
你听说了吗生菜和番茄比赛了赛跑？
A: The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
生菜领先了，番茄变成了番茄酱（迎头赶上）！
笑点：谐音，ketchup（番茄酱）听起来和“catch up”很像。一语双关。
#5. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
你为什么不能给Elsa（《冰雪奇缘》女主角）气球？
A: Because she will Let it go.
因为她会让气球跑掉。
笑点：《冰雪奇缘》的主题曲就是“Let it go”。小朋友一定能知道这个梗。
#6. What do you call a computer that sings?
会唱歌的电脑叫什么？
A: A-Dell
Adele
笑点：A Dell（一台戴尔电脑）和著名歌手Adele也是谐音。
#7. What do you get from a pampered cow?
一头被宠坏的奶牛会给你些什么？
A: Spoiled milk.
坏掉的牛奶。
笑点：Spoil做动词是“宠溺”，spoiled做形容词也有变质的意思。一语双关。
#8. What do you call a bee that lives in America?
住在美国的蜜蜂叫啥？
A: USB
笑点：美国是U.S. U.S.+ bee = USB
#9. Why did the picture go to jail?
为什么照片会被关在监狱里？
A: Because it was framed.
因为它被陷害（相框框住）了。
笑点：frame做名词是相框，做动词是陷害。相片配相框当然就是被陷害了。
#10. What do lawyers wear to court?
律师穿什么去法庭？
A: Lawsuits!
笑点：lawsuit原义是法律诉讼，不过分开来law + suit就像是法律西装。
#11. What kind of jokes do you make in the shower?
洗澡的时候你会说什么笑话？
A: Clean Jokes!
干净的笑话（不带色情、暴力的文明笑话）
笑点：洗洗更干净，可不就是clean jokes嘛。
有没有英文版的小笑话或哲理小故事？
man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: God, what is a million dollars to you? and God says: A penny, then the man says: God, what is a million years to you? and God says: a second, then the man says: God, can I have a penny? and God says In a second
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?上帝回答:一便士.男子又问:那一百万年呢?上帝说:一秒钟.最后男子请求道:上帝,我能得到一便士吗?上帝回答:过一秒钟.
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, Congratulations, you got twins. The man said How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins. After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, Congratulations, you got triplets. Man was like Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the 3 musketeers. Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
Congratulations, you got twins x2. Man is happy and says, Ironic, I work for the hotel 4 Seasons. All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, What's wrong? I work for 7up!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:恭喜,你得了双胞胎.男人说:多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理.过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:恭喜,你得了三胞胎.男人很喜欢:嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事.最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎.男人很开心地说:真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作.他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together. The Canadian said, I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile. The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said Genie, tell me more about this wall, the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out. President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个.加拿大人说:我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃.精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情.精灵回答:墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去.布什总统说:哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: Don't point him at anybody.
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准
个中意味自己体会吧 :)
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:First, you should make sure that he is already dead. Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:What should I do next?
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
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