英语小笑话，急用！！~
1.Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Brack, Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.
Why did it make you late? inquired the teacher.
Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time. replied Mike.
2.这个笑话挺好笑的.生字应该不多.你自己也学查查字典.(我说个大意噢:一位伊利若州男子离开 冰天雪地的芝加哥到佛罗
里达州度假.他的妻子正在外地公干,准备到时候在佛州会合.该男子到了佛州,驻进酒店,就急忙给他妻子发电子邮件.但是他将太太的网址打错一个字母,结果这封邮件发到了一位牧师太太手里,她的丈夫前一天刚过世,她为此在伤心欲绝.当她打开这封错发来的邮件时,惨叫一声,两腿一蹬,死了.
邮件是这样写的:
亲爱的,
我刚来报到.正准备迎接你明天的到来.
爱你的夫君
对了,这下面真的好热唉.(Illinois是美国东部一个州.冬天很冷.Florida在美国南部,一年气候都比较热. )
A BIG E-mail Mistake 一封致命的邮件
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
英语小笑话，越短越好，带翻译
heynbsp;Arenbsp;Directlynbsp;fromnbsp;Americanbsp;Notnbsp;longnbsp;afternbsp;annbsp;oldnbsp;Chinesenbsp;womennbsp;camenbsp;backnbsp;tonbsp;chinanbsp;fromnbsp;hernbsp;visitnbsp;tonbsp;hernbsp;daughternbsp;innbsp;thenbsp;Sates,nbsp;shenbsp;wentnbsp;tonbsp;anbsp;citynbsp;banknbsp;tonbsp;depositnbsp;thenbsp;U.S.nbsp;dollarsnbsp;hernbsp;daughternbsp;givenbsp;hernbsp;.nbsp;Atnbsp;thenbsp;banknbsp;counternbsp;,thenbsp;moneynbsp;wasnbsp;real.Itnbsp;madynbsp;outnbsp;ofnbsp;patience.Atnbsp;lastnbsp;shenbsp;couidnbsp;notnbsp;holdnbsp;anynbsp;more,nbsp;utteringnbsp;:“trustnbsp;me,nbsp;Sir,nbsp;andnbsp;trustthenbsp;moneynbsp;.Theynbsp;arenbsp;realnbsp;U.S.nbsp;dollars.nbsp;They.arenbsp;directlynbsp;fromnbsp;America.nbsp;”nbsp;汉译：nbsp;真美钞nbsp;一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。”nbsp;Henbsp;Wonnbsp;Tommy:nbsp;Hownbsp;isnbsp;yournbsp;littlenbsp;brother,nbsp;Johnny?nbsp;Johnny:nbsp;Henbsp;isnbsp;illnbsp;innbsp;bed.nbsp;Henbsp;hurtnbsp;himself.nbsp;Tommy:nbsp;That‘snbsp;toonbsp;bad.nbsp;Hownbsp;didnbsp;thatnbsp;happen?nbsp;Johnny:nbsp;Wenbsp;playednbsp;whonbsp;couldnbsp;leannbsp;furthestnbsp;outnbsp;ofnbsp;thenbsp;window,nbsp;andnbsp;henbsp;won.nbsp;他赢了nbsp;汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？nbsp;约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。nbsp;汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？nbsp;约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。nbsp;Inbsp;Havenbsp;Hisnbsp;Earnbsp;innbsp;Mynbsp;Pocketnbsp;Ivannbsp;camenbsp;homenbsp;withnbsp;anbsp;bloodynbsp;nosenbsp;andnbsp;hisnbsp;mothernbsp;asked,nbsp;“Whatnbsp;happened?“nbsp;“Anbsp;kidnbsp;bitnbsp;me,“nbsp;repliednbsp;Ivan.nbsp;“Wouldnbsp;younbsp;recognizenbsp;himnbsp;ifnbsp;younbsp;sawnbsp;himnbsp;again?“nbsp;askednbsp;hisnbsp;mother.nbsp;“I‘dnbsp;knownbsp;himnbsp;anynbsp;where,“nbsp;saidnbsp;Ivan.nbsp;“Inbsp;havenbsp;hisnbsp;earnbsp;innbsp;mynbsp;pocket.“nbsp;他的耳朵在我衣兜里nbsp;伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”nbsp;“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。nbsp;“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。nbsp;“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”nbsp;Anbsp;Goodnbsp;Boynbsp;Littlenbsp;Robertnbsp;askednbsp;hisnbsp;mothernbsp;fornbsp;twonbsp;cents.nbsp;“Whatnbsp;didnbsp;younbsp;donbsp;withnbsp;thenbsp;moneynbsp;Inbsp;gavenbsp;younbsp;yesterday?“nbsp;“Inbsp;gavenbsp;itnbsp;tonbsp;anbsp;poornbsp;oldnbsp;woman,“nbsp;henbsp;answered.nbsp;“You‘renbsp;anbsp;goodnbsp;boy,“nbsp;saidnbsp;thenbsp;mothernbsp;proudly.nbsp;“Herenbsp;arenbsp;twonbsp;centsnbsp;more.nbsp;Butnbsp;whynbsp;arenbsp;younbsp;sonbsp;interestednbsp;innbsp;thenbsp;oldnbsp;woman?“nbsp;“Shenbsp;isnbsp;thenbsp;onenbsp;whonbsp;sellsnbsp;thenbsp;candy.“nbsp;好孩子nbsp;小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。nbsp;“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”nbsp;“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。nbsp;“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”nbsp;“她是个卖糖果的。”nbsp;Drunknbsp;Onenbsp;day,nbsp;anbsp;fathernbsp;andnbsp;hisnbsp;littlenbsp;sonnbsp;werenbsp;goingnbsp;home.nbsp;Atnbsp;thisnbsp;age,nbsp;thenbsp;boynbsp;wasnbsp;interestednbsp;innbsp;allnbsp;kindsnbsp;ofnbsp;things
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