A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot. He took the parrot home, and tried to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead the parrot just swore at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird finally the man said If you don't stop swearing I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment. The parrot continued, so finally the man put the bird in the freezer. About an hour later the parrot asked the man to please open the door. As the man took the shivering bird out of the freezer it said I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!
一个男人去宠物店买了一只会说话的鹦鹉。之后他把鹦鹉带回家，并尝试教它说话，但是鹦鹉却不断的在发誓。过了几个小时，那个男人终于说：＂如果你再发誓，我就把你塞到冰箱里！＂但是，鹦鹉却不屑于男人的话，于是男人把鹦鹉塞到冰箱里。过了一个小时，鹦鹉开始向男人求饶。当鹦鹉出来时，它说：＂我发誓我以后再也不会发誓了，但是你可不可以告诉我那只火鸡到底做了什么？＂
1.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
2.One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad? Well, my son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.
But, dad, the boy said, there's only ONE policeman!
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
3.A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied, no, I am
teaching History.
一位历史老师和他的妻子在吃饭。妻子问到：“工作上有什么新鲜事吗？”丈夫回答说：“没有，我是教历史的。”
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